How do you appear interesting and interested?
At the end of another week, there is time to look back on this week’s marketing activity and in particular, networking. If you have chosen networking as a marketing tool, you have probably been to a referral group, an open networking meeting or a formal networking gathering this week. In the words of Dr. Phil: “How did that work for you?”
I hope that you managed to make some great contacts and are in the process of following up with those new networking partners in the next few days. I was fortunate enough to attend a few events this week myself and I realized there is perhaps one thing that was reinforced this week that is worth pondering as the week draws to a close.
Your expertise and advice is not necessarily what people want from you NOW
Do you ever talk to someone who mentions something to you and you KNOW, clearly and without hesitation what they should do next? Maybe you even have the solution for them. Did you feel that urge to TELL them what to do or offer some unsolicited advice?
If you did, that’s OK. It is the human condition to want to help others, to give them the benefit of your experience. Ask yourself that difficult question again: “How does it work for you?”. If the person you have met is interested they may follow up with you but often the impression is negative and you come across as trying to make a sale, or pushing your world view onto them before they even know you.
Lesson learned
Which leads us to the reinforcement. Listening is perhaps the best networking skill you can develop and yes, you can learn it. Listening is NOT waiting for your turn to speak. It is NOT looking for the opportunity to dazzle with your expertise. It IS about picking up on clues from other people – listening to non-verbal as well as verbal hints. It IS about caring about the other person so that you are genuinely concerned to find out more.
Remember : People like to talk about themselves, so give them the opportunity. You can’t do that if you are offering advice or telling them about yourself all the time. When someone says something that sparks the urge in you to give advice, stop and ask them a question. Ask them for more detail, ask them what they mean exactly, ask them to elaborate, ask them how they feel about that, ask them what they plan to do.
So that’s it. Easy in principal, harder in practice. Learn to be a good listener. You may be surprised at how much better you come across, and how much more of an expert than if you try to demonstrate that expertise by telling. You can practice it at next weeks networking events!
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